Friday, July 3, 2009
CONSTITUTION and THE BILL OF RIGHTS by Scott Cunningham and Phillip Pittz
Before that fateful night of July Fourth, Fergy Mendez was just your average American, slightly klutzy, security guard, saddled with the graveyard shift at the National Archives in Washington, D.C. But when he accidently spilt apple pie on one of the country's most prized documents and hurriedly tried to wipe away the stain, Fergy discovered that the acidic juice had revealed a secret message hidden along the edges of the aging parchment: "Whosoever Holds This DOCUMENT, If He Be Worthy, Shall Possess The Power Of All Three Branches of Government, If He Should Speak Aloud the Word RATIFICATION!" No sooner had Fergy finished uttering the inscription, when suddenly light bulbs began to explode throughout the Archives, and a bright energy CASCADED from the document, directly into the confused security guard! HE screamed "WE THE PEOPLE!!!" as he was consumed in the yellowish glow. When the smoke finally cleared out stepped THE CONSTITUTION! Though his clothes were in tatters, the cherished document was still intact!
Brandishing the Taser of Truth, and possessing great physical strength (thanks to his astonishingly strong, ahem, constitution), Fergy now transforms into America's greatest super hero whenever the country find itself under threat. The Founding Fathers foresaw that the nation would one day need a champion and coated the Constitution with a special magical ink that would activate when the time was right. But, also knowing that they was no way to be certain these great powers might suddenly go astray, the wise Fathers provided their heirs with a magic bronze band, passed down from generation to generation within the select families of the Constitution's co-signers. And so it came to be that the LET FREEDOM RING (with its distinctive Liberty Bell logo), would come into the hands of mild-mannered constitutional lawyer, William Jennings Hancock Esq., Jr. upon graduation from an exclusive Washington private prep school. Now, with a twist of the ring, his pin-striped suit is transformed into "The Tights of Rights!" For with powers so great, the Founding Fathers reasoned, they might well destroy the very people they are meant to protect...were it not for The Constitution's trusted sidekick, BILL OF RIGHTS!
Scott and Phillip also do a web comic called starringLi'l Bigfoot (who I think may be Canadian, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt).